It's a Nice Day for a White Wedding

OK, here's the scoop on the wedding I went to. But first, a little background...

A guy friend of mine started seeing a girl about 4-5 months ago. He's 34 and never been married and she's 32. She was recently divorced and living at home with her parents. She is a Mormon (not that there's anything wrong with that) and he was raised Southern Baptist.

About a month ago, he called me up and said that he really needed to see me. I said OK. So he came to my house and as soon as I opened the door I knew something was up. He looked a little panicked. I immediately asked him what was wrong. He indicated that this lady was pregnant and that he was the dad. (Now I knew he always wanted to be a daddy so I was very supportive and happy for him...still am).

Fast forward:

The wedding was to be held at the Mormon church but not in the chapel. It was to be in a class room. There were about 30 chairs in the class room. As we are walking around before going in to sit down, I pass my friend in the hall. His mother is trying to pin a rose on his lapel but she can't. I end up pinning it on him and the mother's corsage on her. We suggest she take off the fake flower she has pinned to the other side of her dress.

We find our way into the class room and take our seats. Children are running up and down the aisle...there is talk all around but we think surely things will settle down. Finally it starts. Now because a child was sitting in the aisle playing with a truck, the bride decides to enter through a side door. She is lovely in a formal evening dress, ivory and lace, short sleeves. I did notice however that she had extremely hairy arms. I don't think I've ever seen a woman with arms quite like that before. The preacher begins the ceremony when the child with the truck walks up to the wedding party and begins talking. Finally mom gets up and takes out the kid. The groom's mother is crying and doesn't have a tissue (I had her a clean but crunched up one I have in my purse).

The ceremony was short and sweet. The bride said "I do" prior to the appropriate time but played it off well. Then the two were to exchange rings and speak to each other from the heart. That's when my friend says..."(INSERT NAME), I love you and will promise to be a good daddy to the baby you are carrying." (Her words to him were much more appropriate and better thought out). Now another friend of mine went with me to this wedding, and whispered in my ear..."if granny didn't know she was pregnant, she does now!" We laughed.

At the reception (which was across the hall) where several tables. One with gifts, one with a cake top (just a formal cake top - no cake) and another with food from a local barbecue joint being placed on it. The remaining tables were in a U-shape and had white tablecloths and rose petals on them. A jazz band was playing on a stage.

Now the bride and groom were setting up the barbecue when a guest said "Wait, you shouldn't be doing that!" But it was already done. Another lady brought out two sheet cakes. One a chocolate one (which I assumed to be the grooms cake). Another one had white frosting with red roses and in bright red lettering, Congratulations (Name withheld) and (Name withheld). I thought that was an odd wedding cake but then it happened. They went to put the formal wedding cake top on the white cake. Then realizing that it would cover up the red writing they put the white wedding cake top on the chocolate cake!!

Now the smell of onions from the barbecue started to permeate the room. My friend asked if we could leave, she couldn't take much more of this and since she didn't know the groom. I agreed. As we started to walk out, she suggested we find the guest book. I saw the brides mother in the hall and asked if there was a guest book. She didn't know but the bride was near by so she asked her.

"Why would we have a guest book? We only invited 30 people, and we know everyone that is here. Those books just end up in some drawer and you never look at them again! We are way to practical for that. Don't you agree?" I responded, "ummmm yea, I guess".

Twenty minutes after the ceremony we were headed for the parking lot. Out in the car my friend and I just sat for a minute with our mouths hanging open. When she asked me, "Did you notice her man arms??" I about lost it!

To Fridays I suggested...They have good Appletinis.